Sunday, September 12, 2010

Things that make my head spin.





I have had a hard couple of weeks...mentally that is.  I have been so overwhelmed with school work, getting orders filled for etsy, working at my little job and trying to be a good wife.Isn't bad enough that I am in pain on a daily basis? Living with Fibromyalgia is like being wrung through an old fashion clothes ringer daily. I have been try to cope with working part time-less the 20 hours a week and going to school.  I realized that I have become obsessive in the things that I do.  Shopping is the biggest thing that has been bothering me.  It does not even feel good when I buy something. The things that I have been buying the most is clothing.Why am I buying clothes when I a good 50 pounds overweight? When I see it,  I want it, envision wearing it, wonder if Charlie will ask me about it, I know I should not buy it and do so anyways. I hope he does not ask me about it and I wear it knowing that is a symbol of how chaotic my mind is lately.  I should, I shouldn't, I like it, I don't  This is something I looked into.  I think it is one of my medications I have been taking for about 4 1/2 years.  I remembered something my new doctor had told me"Watch out for obsessive behaviors". That was 10 months ago.  I had forgotten all about that.  Mirapex is what is causing all this havoc in my mind. I would rather have restless leg then ruin my life with this compulsion to shop, sell, and make. I will be going to the doctors in about 1 week and see what else I can take for RLS.  For now I will only be using cash so Charlie knows what I spend and where I spend it.

2 comments:

Sistergirl said...

I love you girl! Just keep working on it and keep your head-up. I'm here for you.

Twin A

Debbee said...

Thanks Sister!! You are the best:)

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